Friday, December 14, 2007

'At Last'

The skies roared....howled....cried
is she?
have those days?
I feel

No wait...Clear sky
a ray of desire
calls last


Oh I cannot express my feelings for this time of the year! I feel like a 7 yr old waiting for uncle santa to fill her socks with loadsa presents. Ha! I still remember debating with a friend of mine about santa's existence. Soo talking about santa and christmas, has this lil' girl been good throughout the year eh!?! uhhhh...errrrr...Okay, I think I'll confess directly to santa..watsay??

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Long time eh! I actually am missing the lane behind my house. The long walks I had with bhaiya..and oh the things we did in ccd! My window pane, from where i used to see the world.
Dr Nandan, my mentor-the person who introduced me to 'reality'.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Are you for real?

We're lost in a dreamworld
Just you and I
No one else in this private place
We talk,listen, and make love
I feel your lips moving over mine
Your hands touching mine
Just you and I in our own little space

I may never look into your eyes
I may never know your touch
But you've filled an emptiness inside
That I needed Oh so much
We met by fate, We loved in dreams
Was it really real?
But I can close my eyes
When ever I want and pretend
It's you I feel

Your eyes, your touch, your kiss
These I'll never knew
I keep them hidden deep inside
within my soul
What ever else may we have had
You have made me whole

Saturday, October 20, 2007

my adda

this is a small message fr my adda..(the birla chhaka!!)
i miss u
hope to see you guys soon n dec
lov u

Friday, October 5, 2007

lil' girl comes outta fairyland
and she won cry
'big girls don' cry'

Wednesday, October 3, 2007


Magical memories

lovely memories

floating through my mind

sparkling bits of laughter

little drops of sadness

rainbows full of joys

sweetly perfumed memories

like violets in the grass

a firefly out of nowhere

leads me through the past

Shooting stars are fleeting

like loved ones long ago

but they are magical memories

'cos we make them so

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

'real bites'

tick tick tick
I had been waiting for this moment...this day since ages
and now it's actually here
(ps- i still can't believe it)
feel strange
never thought i would miss my 'special friend'
sooooo much
but i actually am

i wish life were'nt so hard..
wish it were like in the movies
dancing around the trees
etc etc

but it isn't

i guess i have to start living life the 'real' way
and not in an

ps-i miss you u


Sunday, September 30, 2007


1st october.....................

Saturday, September 29, 2007


don't want that to happen again...but have a feeling it will
'taken for granted'....ha
i guess i am used to that feeling
doormat...a good one!

Friday, September 28, 2007


I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears.
But I can listen to you, and together we will search for answers.
I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain,
nor the future with its untold stories.
But I can be there now when you need me to care.
I can't keep your feet from stumbling.
I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.
Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;
Yet I can share in your laughter.
Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;
I can only support you, encourage you,
and help you when you ask.
I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship,
from your values, from me.
I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.
I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you,
But I can give you the room to change,
room to grow,room to be yourself.
I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting,
But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces
and put them back in place.
I can't tell you who you are.
I can only love you and be your friend.

....a person who i know will always be there for you bhaiya

Tuesday, September 25, 2007


Peace is a walk by a stream
in summer with only the birds
Peace can't be touched
only to be enjoyed but never held
Peace is peace and only that
cannot be seen or ehard
for it could be peace no more
To know but not to know
For peace is an essence
a secret beautiful essence

and the essence is



Clear last
The skies roared...howled...cried
A message- did it leave
Reminds me of the day when I used to dance in the rain as a little girl, free from all worries
And suddenly today
I feel constrained...

Where is that lil' girl
who used to run aroun' butterflies
stare at stars
dance in the rain... she?
Gone..are those days?

Clear sky?
no wait
a ray of 'desire'

Dance in the 'rain'

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Sleepy as ever,Sultan knows what he wants. Good food and Sleep. And sometimes he likes playing with his teddy bear, provided it does not affect his sleep! Lucky guy. I wonder how many people in this world actually know what they want...exactly; and can confidently say- Yes I want this...' I doubt..

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The hour has come to part! and it is best
The severing stroke should fall in one short day
Rather than fitful fever spoil my rest,
Watching each gradual sign of love's decay.
Go forth dear! thou hast much to do on earth;
In life's campaign there waits thee a great part -
Much to be won and conquered of more worth
Than this poor victory of a woman's heart
For me, the light is dimmed, the dream has past -
I seek not gladness, yet may find content
Fulfilling each small duty, reach at last
Some goal of peace before my youth is spent.
But come whatever may, come weal or woe
I love thee, bless thee where so e'er thou go!

-Augusta, Lady Gregory

Monday, September 10, 2007

cut fit style

''Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening.''
Coco Chanel

Sunday, September 9, 2007

'My best friend's wedding'

He's your best friend and you have to tell him you're getting married.
So, what's the issue? I mean if you had a female best friend, you would tell her too..She gets too emotional and sobby..says''Oh my God..Finally!''..and then both of you get e m o t i o n a l.

He's your bestest friend and telling him won't be difficult..Uhhhhh

"Uh,What does he do?''
It takes him more than 15 minutes to actually realize that there is a man involved and suddenly he comments

''L o v e???'' ''Oh, cmmon! This is just one of your stupid affairs.''

''HIM? He's fat and ugly. How can you...Ughhh''

You make no remark.You don't to mention the 'fact' that he's no 'Hugh Grant'.

''And he's balding''

Uhhh..Ok, I give it to him..Your friend is not balding! Oops,neither is your 'love'.
He is jealous.He has no idea how to handle it.
He does not love you,never has, and never will. But in every man hidden is the little boy who never wants to share his toys and wants the undivided attention forever.
It's called possessiveness.
It's the nature of the beast.
I knew I had 'hurt' my friend.
I knew this was not how we had planned to spend a sunday.

Friday, September 7, 2007


There must be thousands of people sitting alone like me, dreaming of becoming famous. But i am not gonna worry about them...cos I am dreaming the h a r d e s t

the new life

a dream come true


'Open your arms
Close your eyes
Enjoy the feeling

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

I get a kick out of you

I get no kick from champagne
Mere alcohol
Doesn' thrill me at all
So tell me why should it be true
That i get a kick out of you

Some get a kick from cocaine
I'm sure that if
I took one more sniff
That would bore me terifically too
Yet i get a kick out of you

I get a kick every time I see you standing before me
I get a kick though it's patently clear that you
obviously don't adore me

I get no kick in a plane
Flying too high
With some bird in the sky
is my idea of nothing to do
Yet i get a kick out of you

-Cole porter

Past; Present

Ignorance is what
I get

Love was what
I wanted

Questions is what
I get

Answers were what
I wanted

Reality was what I looked for
Artificiality is what I see


'Somebody' recently commented that I write s-a-d poems/articles. Very rightly said......Am I really sad or just tired of the relentless circles of relationships.
I don't want an answer, just want to put this question out in the void.
I have 'miles to go before I sleep' but have I chosen the path to be.
I wonder if I could stop and shout loudly...'Hey see,it's me'.....(again!)

Thursday, August 30, 2007


No more
can I
play the game of

'Absurd'-is what
the figment
of mind

'Face'-no more
can I see

'Elysium'-may I
call this

'Deception'-is it
the route to

'Lost'- am I
in the game
of nowhere

'Stop'- should I
for this


No more
can I
play the
game of

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I do?

The day had just begun but it felt like ages. It was only a few months back that I got married and plunged into a pool of ‘relationships’. The house was still in the process of renovation and the incomplete look hardly mattered. Silence was making things worse but ignoring helped. I knew it would be a new chapter in my life but people suggested that I should start making preparations of talking, sitting, standing etc differently. Was this a mutual preparation or was I the only actor in the play?
A rebel by nature, I had no faith in the institution.I did not understand the concept of division of roles in marriage. I could not imagine myself waiting for my husband at the dinner table, letting him talk 'cos it will make him feel good. Adjustment and I were two opposite poles.This was not my definition of 'happily ever after'.
I saw friends 'settling down'. After a series of affairs, I planned to take a chance. My folks had almost lost hope and assumed that my married life would end in a ...mess. But even they took a ..chance. Arranged Marriage. ha! Parents consult friends and relatives, find a 'suitable boy' and conclude that they will 'live happily ever after'. I had no expectations.

to be continued..